An eye opener...

Hello all!  So while enjoying a bit of down time the other day, I was flipping through the channels and saw that the show "16 & Pregnant" was on and I have heard a lot of people talk about this show so I was intrigued to check it out.  After watching the first 5 minutes of an episode I thought to myself, "Who in their right mind would film this and put this on tv?"  There were a few things that I just couldn't believe about it...
1. The girl on the show was SOOOO disrespectful to her mother, and I just wanted to go through the screen and ring her neck!
2.  The producers "glorified" the whole being pregnant and making it look like it's a piece of cake, which again, made me fume!
3.  This teen thought that everything would just be fine when the baby arrived, that it would be a cake walk and she found out quickly that it wasn't, which put a bit of a smile on my face, only to be erased when the mother of this teen would just let her daughter go out and party and leave the baby home!

So as I was rolling my eyes watching this particular episode, I thought I'd give it another try and watch the next episode just to see if all of the series was like this first episode that I've ever watched and in some ways it was, but in others it was different.  So then I got a bit "hooked" and DVR'd the rest of the episodes and watched them the other night.  I found them quite interesting.... yes, there were parts that I wanted to go through the TV and set some of these girls straight, but then there was one episode that not only hit close to home, but these teen parents actually had some common sense and put their child up for adoption because they knew right off the bat that they couldn't take care of their child like it should be taken care of and they wanted MORE for their child. So they met with an adoptive family, set their plans for their open adoption and when the day came that the teen went into labor, the adoptive family was able to be there and take their child home.

I guess what impressed me the most and was a bit of an eye opener, was that I got to see a small part of what a birth mother goes through.  This girl and boy had parents that did not want them to put the baby up for adoption, yet they did anyways.  The birthmother did not want to see her baby after it was born in fear that she would become attached, but in the end, she did end up seeing her and holding her and yet she still had the strength to give her to her adoptive mother with no problem because she knew in her heart she was doing the right thing.  It fascinated me to see this take place because I always wondered how a birthmother feels when she's going through this process that we're trying to go through and I actually got to see it.  This teen mom and dad went through many profiles and they made a connection with their adoptive family before they even met them, they just knew they were right for their baby.  I did have to chuckle when I did see another episode that involved adoption and the birth mom was talking to the birth father when they were looking at profiles and pointed out that she liked a family because their dog was cute.  However, that's not far from the truth sometimes because we've been told that some birthparents will choose a family by seeing something in a picture that they like, not even what's wrote down in the profile.  Haha!  (I hope Chesney is as cute to others as he is to me! Hahahahaha)

Anyways, I'm not sure how much I'll watch that show again, but I do have to say that some parts were pretty informative for teens going through the same situation, but there are other parts that make me wonder how kids get this illusion in their heads that it's ok to lip off to their parents, be disrespectful and then turn around and act like a 2 year old throwing a tantrum because they're sick of being parents themselves and want to go hang out with their friends and just leave their baby to be taken care of by grandma and grandpa.  Kind of frustrating.... but eye opening.

March Madness

Hello everyone!  What WONDERFUL weather we are having here in WI! I can barely stay inside and it's hard to come inside at night because it has been staying so nice out!  Since my last post, a few thing have taken place....

We went on vacation to Mexico with our good friends! What a nice time we had too!  I spent the days relaxing, reading and napping for the most part... YAY! It was nice to get away from here for a while and just reboot my mind.  We stayed in a private villa owned by Jerry Van Dyke (the guy from the tv series Coach) between Cancun and Playa del Carmen.  We had a FABULOUS chef, Joey, that came in and cooked for us the entire time we were there.  He could just throw stuff together and it was spectacular! And his fresh strawberry daiquiris weren't bad either! haha!

Since being back from vacation, work has picked up a bit and that's good.  I'm going to try not to overbook myself this summer since we have a lot going on and who knows, maybe our family will begin this summer as well so I'm pacing myself with work.  Cody, on the other hand, can't wait to get in the fields, especially with this wonderful weather we've been having.  The cows are milking GREAT these days so he's ready for crop season to start.  I have to share that he showed me the new corn planter just yesterday and I was shocked at it's size! It's huge!  I know, how silly is it to be astounded by a corn planter but it's pretty impressive.  (I sound like a true farmer's wife now! hahahahahahahaha!)  On top of crop season right around the corner, so is the barefooting season.  This year is also a World's year so I probably won't be able to get Cody off the water much this summer but that's ok because I'm hoping to be on the water a lot myself this summer, only I'll be fishing!  With this awesome weather, I am chomping at the bit to get my lawn ornaments out, plant flowers, drive my Camaro and start going up north on the weekends to my parents' cabin on the lake... BUT I don't want to put the cart in front of the horse so I better wait a few more weeks, or maybe a month to start doing some of those things.  You never know what the WI weather will bring.  Until then, I'll enjoy having my windows open in the house and soaking up the sunshine....

Always,
M&C

Nothing new

I've started to write this post twice now and have deleted it twice because it wasn't going the way I wanted it to.  I don't want to make this blog about all the hardships we're going through, or just about the positives we've experienced, I want it to be all of that, the ups and downs, but after my last post, I didn't want to follow that with a down so here I am..... what do I write.... Right now, there's been more downs than ups and every day I get a little bit more emotional about everything.  Ooops, starting to go down and I didn't want to do that... SO..... maybe I should just end this post with, Happy Belated Birthday to Cody (2/25) and Happy Birthday to my mom (today)!  And I hope we don't get hit with all the snow we're supposed to be getting! EEEEK!!!!!  Hoping to update with a more upbeat state of mind in the future. Until then.....

Always,
M&C

Worry....

It's amazing what a day will bring, I wake up, get out of bed and feel pretty good about the day ahead.  And then there are other days that I wake up, get out of bed and just know it's not going to be a good day.  Today was the first description, until one little thing changed my good day into a not so hot day.  It's still early in the day, but right now, I'm feeling pretty down in the dumps.  Like any other day, I wake up and wonder if we'll get a phone call from AOW or not, or if our profile is being viewed or not and then that keeps me wondering all day long.  I jump every time the phone rings, or I get an email in my inbox and hope that it's the call or email we've been waiting for.  But each day comes and goes, and the anticipation and anxiety continues into the next day.  Like I said, some days are better than others, or maybe it's just because I'm more distracted on those days that I don't seem to have my mind on it as often, but it's always there.

Sometimes I can't help but think it's unfair that we want to become parents so badly, yet we aren't the ones that get to make that decision.  We have went through home studies, background checks, medical check ups and writing our life story and hopes and dreams in a profile so that someone else can choose if we are "fit" to be parents.  Do you know how hard that is?  Of course some people do know how hard that is because they've been through the adoption process, and others seem to think they know how hard that is, but until you're actually living in it, you have no idea.

Everyday I worry... it doesn't matter if it's the most stress-free day, I still worry.  I worry that maybe I didn't put something in our profile that I should've, or maybe I put too many pictures in it, or over designed it so it looks like I'm trying too hard.  Or maybe I put too little in it and it leaves too many questions unanswered about us.  Or maybe I said something wrong in it that turns off a person (birth mom).  I worry about these things everyday, on top of the normal, will I be a good mom, when will we get the call, what should I wear when we meet our birth mom, what will I say to her, ect...  On days like today, it seems like those questions will never be answered soon enough and maybe I did forget something in our profile, or put too much, but I'll never know because it's all out of my hands.  I have no control over any of it and it sucks.  I can ask the agency all the questions I want and they can give me the answers, yet I still feel like I'm out in the middle of the ocean by myself (well, with Cody of course) with no sort of direction.

I know I shouldn't be moaning the blues this much when we've only been in the outreach program for 4 short months and our journey has gone rather quickly, but I still can't help but wonder how long we will have to wait.  At least for all the moms out there that can get pregnant, they have a count down.  There's no counting down for us, only counting up......

Always,
M&C

What's in a name...

So adopting or pregnant, there is one fun thing we all get to experience and that's playing the naming game....  Cody and I have names in mind, but we've also been playing around with other names as well.  I couldn't help but laugh when I read on a website about the name "Cody"... it read, "Cody is a classic "new cowboy" name, calling up the image of showman Buffalo Bill Cody and the Wyoming city that bears his name.  A potential drawback is its eternal boyishness.  Like Toby or Corey, Cody is a name that just doesn't want to grow up."  I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I read that. Hahahaha!  Another laugh came when I read the comment about the name Francis, it read "Francis is someone who opens doors for a lady and becomes the leader of his local moose lodge"  WHAT? They got the open door comment correct, but the leader of the moose lodge? LOL Too funny!

For all the moms to be out there, here's a fun site to visit... www.babynamewizard.com  Oh... and if you thought we were going to crack and say names on here... NOPE, not going to do it! hahahahaha!  What's the fun in that?  Happy Valentine's Day everyone (a little early)!!!!

Always,
M&C

Some hopeful news

Hello all! Well, we did get some hopeful news today from our agency in the February newsletter that they send out to all adoptive families.  The agency is currently working with 5 unmatched birthparents, 4 of whom are looking at profiles right now.  We pray that our profile is being viewed at this time.  We are not asking the agency if we are being viewed, just hoping that we are.  Why aren't we asking, you may be wondering?  Well, if we ask and we are being showed and not picked, then we'll wonder why we weren't picked and if we ask and we aren't being viewed, then we'll be down that we're not being viewed... make sense?  So at this time, we're just hoping and praying that our birth mom is on her way to finding us and maybe one of the five that our agency is working with is her.  We keep waiting patiently...

Always,
M&C

I Love February!

Yay, it's February!  I'm not sure why I'm so excited about it, maybe it's just this week in general is exciting.  I have my friend Lisa visiting from TN with her beautiful 3 month old daughter, Maddie and I get to photograph her on Tuesday and then on Thursday I have my cousin coming up with her beautiful daughter for her 6 month pictures, also on Thursday is a pre-valentine's day dinner outing with family and friends and Friday at midnight (technically Saturday morning at 12am) Breaking Dawn Part 1 comes out on DVD and I WILL BE at Wal Mart to get it as soon as it comes out... yes I'm a twilight nerd! And if I have any luck, maybe Cody will take me to see The Vow this weekend, or if not him, I'm going to grab some girlfriends and go to it! Haha!  So that's the exciting things about this week... the week after I'm taking my mom to Sundara Spa for her birthday present for a few nights.  Just a girls get-away! Should be lots of fun as well!  Also in Feb... lots of Birthdays! Yay!  I have a feeling this month is going to fly!!!! Which is a good thing!  But anyways... I just wanted to post my excitement for the week.  Sorry there is no adoption news but thanks for reading!

Always,
M&C